I was talking to my cousin the other day, and he said to me I hope you and mum are getting on ok. You do get very moody at times.

I just want to get some things straight. It’s not that I am moody per se but:

1. I’m a lone ranger always have been, I like my personal space, I like to have time by myself. Don’t get me wrong I am not a recluse and am sociable, but there is a time for everything.

2. I don’t talk much, and sometimes I just don’t feel like talking, it becomes a burden just to open my mouth, so when I take my time to respond please just practise patience the response is coming.

3. I hate stupid questions. Don’t ask me stupid questions or questions where the answer is obvious and expect me to answer. It’s a waste of my time and yours, I am not interested in. It makes my blood boil, everybody has their pet peeves which are likely to make them snap, for me, that is it.

4. Don’t ask me advice and do the opposite, the reaction is as 3 above.

5. I live my way a set way, I don’t answer to no one except God, don’t try and make me live my life your way because you feel it is better, when judgement day arrives we’ll see, but for now, as long as I am not doing anything immoral and/or illegal then really there is no law which says your life is better.

6. Don’t ask me questions you don’t want to hear the answer to, reaction as 3 above.

7. If I don’t like something, I will not come out and say it necessarily as I may inadvertantly insult you, so if I’m in a ‘mood’ please ask yourself ‘was it something I said.

8. I hate bragging, I don’t have much but the little I have, I am content with, and if you have it, well it’s not going to affect my life in anyway it’s not going to pay my rent, so I don’t care to hear about it.

There you have it, 8 simple rules in order to keep me happy and not piss me off.

Now I know I am not perfect, and especially during that time of the month little things which would normally go over my head does get to me. I know also that my tongue too can be quite sharp and I have a tendancy to say things exactly how I see it but I try and make everyone understand the above simple rules, take it or leave it.

My mother choses to leave it. Aside from her failure to understand that asking people to find me a husband makes me look like a desparate retard. The other thing that grated me was yesterday (actually a spill over from the day before). Now every day my mum sends Kwabena (her now allocated weekday driver) over to take my car where she goes and does her rounds and then he drops my car in the evening and I go home.

I get in to the office before some people have even woken up, I get back home when it is dark, she has the car throughout the whole day. So why she tells me that my tyre is flat and I should go and get it changed, I don’t know. The irony is that Kwabena is the same person I would call to sort out any issues with my car, I’m still a girl when it comes to things like cars, but maybe my sense would say I’m with a man, let me get him to sort it, if she wants she can give me the bill later but don’t expect that I will look for a vulgenizer at 7.30pm when you got the car the whole day.

Secondly she asks stupid questions. For example, she needs some information from my uncle, and then she will ask me “shall I call him”, no use your powers of telepathy.

Third thing, she will ask me something and then go and do the opposite. For example, she said she wants to get me a small freezer. She says maybe she will get a second hand freezer. I say it is not wise to get a second hand one here, the way the electricity is here and the quality of the second hand products that are imported in, you will spend more money fixing it. 24 hours later, she calls me to tell me she is with my auntie’s driver and they have found a second hand freezer so she’s going to buy it. God however was on my side that day, as before she paid for the thing, the seller plugged it in to test it was working, and it wasn’t.

Forth thing, I don’t know how she done it, but my mug which I managed to travel all the way to Ghana from London with and from Dome to Adringanor without even a chip, one month with my mother and the and the handle has broken. My 3-speed fan only works at one speed and does not rotate because she did not bother to learn how to switch it off but instead unplugs it when she is not using it. My TV stand which she uses as a coffee table, which I asked her not to move, but then she did anyway, directly in the sun and now there is a burn mark. I asked her not to move it, she did it anyway.

Fifth thing, when Kwabena is not around, she is stuck indoors. She could easily call my uncle and ask if he could help her out for the day (he does have a few cars or three), but she can’t, why, because she prefers to brag about her daughter who gives her the car during the day. Well, sorry love, I will not leave my job to drive you around town so oh well. We actually have got a good supportive family who if she asked, they would sort her out with a car, but instead she prefers to put all the burden on muggings here. How am I supposed to find this husband she is worried I will never find. Oh yes she has asked others to find him for me, she has no trouble asking them for help in that respect.

My mother manages to turn me into that sulky teenager every time we are in the same space for more than 5 minutes together. It’s only been 6 weeks and I need a break from her already.

Maybe I am being a bit picky, I may sound harsh, but that’s me. In response to my cousin thinking I go into moods for no reason, I hope if you ever read this piece, you’ll understand that maybe I’m in a mood because you’ve pissed me off but I don’t want to hurt you physically or otherwise so I keep quiet and dey in my corner.

But in saying that, I have been known to be happy on occasion….lol