The return of the ex-factor

I woke up to a text this morning, from my ex “its so SAD that you messed up”, I’m sure he was probably drunk. I didn’t care enough to respond. I don’t know how he wanted me to respond. Like I would say, I’m sorry, you were a total arse when we were together but yes I was the one who messed up, let’s get back together so you can abuse me some more.

It has been 4 years since we broke up, 4 years ago when I finished it, all I wanted was an apology. Now I just wish he would just go away and get over himself.

He is the perfect example of the saying “a leopard can’t change his spots”, it took me a very loooong time to realize that but I eventually did. To all the girls out there who think if they work hard in the relationship. If they are a domestic goddess around the house and if they open their legs whenever their man wants it and he will change his ways. Well take a lesson from me. It isn’t going to happen. You will find yourself 7 years later, depressed and asking yourself why you wasted your time all these years.

Too many times we look to God, we say, God make this man change his ways. NO. If he doesn’t want to change, he will not, and remember God only helps them who helps themselves. He’s in the miracle business but this one is far beyond a miracle. All you can do is ask for strength, that if this person is not the one that he will give you the strength to ship out.

From my side, after a few years I was comfortable, I was in my mid to late 20s and I had invested my time into this relationship, so I followed the crowd and asked God to change him. But after a near death experience when the guy nearly died, I helped him back to health and he not only didn’t change his ways but felt that it was my duty to look after him. That’s when lightning finally struck and I got out.

Relationships are hard work, don’t get me wrong. There are things you will not like about him, things he won’t like about you. You will have to adjust yourself, your lifestyle, compromise a bit and let somethings go. But if its too much hard work, if you are the one always giving and he’s the one always taking, my friend, it’s time to get to stepping.

Of course, this is not just for the ladies, some woman out there can be complete bitches, but I can only tell you my point of view and from my experience.

When I’m feeling down and lonely, I think of the alternative, a lifetime of misery with a selfish man. I’d rather be single.

About efiasworld

The black Bridget Jones and an English woman in Ghana
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