why am I not married yet?

I’m just about to leave for God daddy’s house when I meet a random family friend so I thought I would stop to write this blog before I lose my thoughts. This lady is on holiday from London so I haven’t seen her in a while. So the questions, how’s life in Ghana, you have done so well, even I who was born in Ghana couldn’t live here again, bladee blah. Then she pauses. Should she ask the question, should she leave it. Then she asked “so married yet?”, “what are you waiting for?”. What am I waiting for, like I have really got a choice. So I give her the usual response “in God’s time”, like really what can I say “I can’t even give it away”.

In my 3 years here I have been approached by three types of men. The married, the about to be married and the too young to even think about marriage. Oh and the lawyer which makes 4.

I have met the following guys, not all of these “friendships” went as far as second base, not all of them even got to a first date, but they have all come into my life and just as quickly got out.

First there was William, we hung out for a while, I find out he’s about to be married to a girl studying abroad. By the time I found out there were feelings, he was confused, then he made a decision, it wasn’t me.

There was Randy. A complete sleeze, he was married, she lived abroad. I was on the rebound and had a moment which I really regretted the moment he kissed me. I quickly ran outta that one, he also turned out to be a complete sociopath and compulsive liar which didn’t help his cause much.

There was G, another married guy, shared a moment out of sheer loneliness and boredom. G believed his own hype, he’s short and round but has wealth and power so the girls flock to him. I liked his ambition and intelligence and wasn’t really looking for a relationship due to the whole marriage thing, but he was just looking for a notch on his bedpost, he got it eventually and then away bus.

Emmanuel, told me his wife sees condoms in his car and doesn’t say anything so what’s my problem. After I told him what my problem was he certainly didn’t ask me out again.

There was Gremlin, who forgot to tell me he had a girlfriend, but she kindly called to inform me. Uche the 26 year old looking for a sugar mummy, Harry the 26 year old with a 3 year plan and Nana who didn’t do anything apart from law (didn’t have a personality either).

Mo the ho, who gave me sweet words and then made out with another girl in front of my face.

Robert, he just has issues. If he has an emotion, he hides it well. He doesn’t show anger or happiness, he is just blah, he intrigued me, but too much hard work.

Not forgetting Kobby who came and swept me off my feet then remembered he had issues with commitment and relationships when having had no luck finding a job here, decided to go back to the states. NEXT…

The last one was Jones, told me he was single then on our first (and last) date told me I seem like a nice person so had to tell me the truth. Married with 3 kids back in London, not divorced but wanted to give us a try and see how it goes.

And all of these guys really do feel that they have the ability to convince a lady that bullshit smells like roses.

On the married guy front, apart from the moral wrong, really its just not worth it. For me, I would like a guy to stay with me the whole night, and be able to pick up the phone at anytime and call just for a chat and he doesn’t ignore the call and call back 2 days later. For someone to tell me that their wife comes first is not what I want to hear so no point venturing into that situation in the first place. I have always said I would never do it but then I did, and not one of my proudest moments but without sounding like I’m making excuses and sounding clichĂ©, I didn’t intentionally set out to be the other woman, and I can say never intend to either.

On the single guy front, just waiting for that one who is single, not a cheat, not about to get married, has a job, has aim and easy on the eye. Not asking for much.

Not sure I could have told this lady or anybody else who asks me why am I not married, all that I have been through, I’m sure they wouldn’t dare ask me again though. But its much easier to say “in God’s time”.

About efiasworld

A British Born Ghanaian navigating her way through life.
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