is it possible to be “just friends with an ex”

Reggie was my first love when I got to Ghana. Nothing ever happened but the mutual attraction was as fiery as our first encounter.

We were in the tasty jerk restaurant in Osu. I can’t remember what the argument was about but we had both just completed our law degrees and as arrogant as pre-qualified lawyers can be. Neither of us would back down and it took my cousin and his friend to pull us apart.

Over time we became friends. We would hang out at the same spot where we had our first argument and just muck around and have a laugh while eating pork.

Nothing happened between us because 1. He had a baby mama and kid back in london and it appeared that there was some unfinished business. 2. My over protective family would not have it and 3. I was seeing William. Eventually he told me one evening that he was going back to london to make a go of things with his baby mama. I was disappointed but I could understand. Where a kid is involved, if there is any way you can make it work then you should try your hardest.

Its been 3 years since I last saw him and today we reunited. I have to be honest, I was feeling too lazy to come out of the house, but it had been a long time and I had already swerved him the day before so met him at Tayiba which is next door to the Botanical Gardens in Legon. A very nice place is located on two floors with a straw roof. The food is not cheap and the service is a bit slow but the atmosphere is nice. You can look over into the gardens, although it is under construction now so although you can see the greenery, it is kind of marred by the tractor and dirt, I don’t know exactly what the purpose of the digging is but hopefully soon there will be a beautiful scene to look at while you’re having your meal. We finished the meal, he had banku and tilapia, I had fried yam and grilled chicken. You can’t go wrong with local food. It was ok except there wasn’t enough pepper and the guy serving us thought he could compensate by putting a bottle of ketchup on the table (?). When we asked for the bill though he was fast in sending that to the table. “Do you mind if I pay?” Reggie said. Well I wasn’t going to say no…lol

After that I dropped him home. One of those $85k Regimannuel apartments in Kwabenya. So not worth that amount of money, yes its cheaper than an apartment in London but 1. The location isn’t exactly in Accra and 2. Its tiny. You get a bedroom with an ensuite bathroom but you get a shower and not a bath. A guest bathroom – shower and toilet, a tiny living room and an even smaller kitchen. Don’t get me wrong it was kitted out nice but I think it was only worth half the price even if you are only buying as an investment property. I understand for the money you only get the shell and so the fixtures you have to do yourself, so you could end up paying over $100k before anyone moves in. I will not complain about my $60k house again.

We watched GTV, there was a programme giving advice on matters of the heart. Wasn’t really listening, you’ve seen one show, you’ve seen them all. Reggie then starts saying that he still feels the same way he did all those years ago, blah, blah, blah. You know the lyrics you guys give when you want to get your leg over (kidding). But here’s the deal, he made his choice, I don’t really care if your wife doesn’t understand you or it is because of circumstances, but at the end of the day you made your choice. I don’t know why some guys feel that one girl is good for marriage material and the other is good for “releasing of stress”, I come from a good home, I’m educated, I have “all the right credentials” so why not do the right thing with me instead of choosing someone else and then running back when the heat is too much. Sorry mate, too late. But then again in this case it could be a bit of nostalgia, things always look rosey when you are looking back, but not to be harsh, err too late. If it didn’t work out then, it probably wouldn’t work out now.

Can one be friends with their ex even after they have both moved on. Its possible, but I don’t think totally, and it also depends on the circumstance. I know one or two that if I don’t see again it would be too soon, others where I can at least be civil to. I suppose its one of those cases where you can ask 20 different people, they would give you 20 different answers.

So that was my day, I was supposed to meet up with my mate Ams, but this harmattan dust is playing havoc with my chest and I ended up going to sleep. I’ll try again today.

Today it’s going to be a girls, girls day, I’ll go and see my cousins who are leaving tomorrow and then the rest of the day with Ams, its going to be a day free of drama (I hope).

About efiasworld

A British Born Ghanaian navigating her way through life.
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