The older you get the harder it is…

Had to forfeit church this morning, this cough has decided to lodge in my chest for another day, I am so pumped up on cough medicine and paracetamol that I would have probably fainted at church and it would not be because I was overwhelmed by the holy spirit.

I dropped smother off at my auntie’s place so they can go to church together. It was a close one, a few seconds later and we would have missed them, I did tell smother to get a move on but I am sure she was thinking the longer she took the likelihood that I would have dragged myself into the bathroom and gone with her would have been greater. But sick me + smother does not make for a calming, spiritual morning.

My french friend is throwing a party for her daughter who turns 1 tomorrow. I really want to go over there if only for an hour, I’ll see how it goes come midday.

But enough of that. Today’s topic is on my favourite topic, finding love as you get older. At Jerry’s on Friday night we had a discussion on this which has got me thinking (well I’ve been in bed for the past 24 hours so have had nothing else to do but think). So we were talking to the lawyer guy about finding “the one” later in life. He said that he didn’t get married until he was 36 or something. Then I asked how old was the lady. She is 9 years younger than him. Its like that Russel Brand fella. He gets married at the age of 35 and his wife is 10 years younger than him. You see its alright for guys, they can settle down at whatever age but it is not so likely that they will settle down with someone of their own age, it is more likely that they will go for a much younger model. So what’s left for a lady in her mid-thirties. A younger guy or an older guy. The older guy is likely to be divorced and had his children already. The younger guy, well he is more likely to not have reached his maturity peak and is looking for a short term fantasy fulfilment. Of course there is always an exception to this rule, my best friend found a guy who was 8 years younger and although I haven’t met him, he seems to worship the ground she walks on.

The most recent guy I met was in his early 40s. But with 3 kids and 2 step-children, I will put aside the fact that he was a player aside. Could I take on that responsibility? Then there is the Jones guy. He told me “we’ll see how it goes”, I put his marital status aside for the minute and look at his children. His first born is 25 and the last is 18, it really wasn’t that long ago that I was 25 and if my dad came home and said he was marrying a 30 something year old lady would I be impressed? Probably not.

At 36 Kwame would have been perfect. Settled, mature, knows what he’s about and has a job and close to my age. Unfortunately I met him a couple of years too late, married with 2 kids. Am I supposed to hang around until the event that his marriage breaks down and forfeit any chance of me having a kid. I think not. I know medicine has advanced and all that but don’t really fancy having a kid at 60, would really like to have them at a time when their grandparents are still agile and while I have the energy to enjoy them. At the same time I want to be with a guy who is mature enough to handle the responsibility of having a wife and children and not one who has a grown family of his own. Is this possible in these modern times? I don’t know.

Recently met a 33 year old. A year younger, I could deal with that. Has a 6 year old daughter, I could live with that too. Lives in London, just my luck.

For a man, it appears to me, he doesn’t have to worry about these things. He likes a girl she maybe younger, she may not be in his social circle, she may not even have a job, but he likes her and he goes for it. A woman has a thousand different questions which need answering before she even considers going out on a first date.

Why is it always so much more difficult for a woman. Or is it that those of us still single in our 30s are just too picky. Should we lower our expectations not look at age, status etc.. or should we hold out for “that one”. (That one being the perfect fit for the individual concerned, everyone’s definition is different mind you).

Well the journey continues, and along the way, we pray for the best…

About efiasworld

A British Born Ghanaian navigating her way through life.
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