You’ve got to see the signs

I heard a story the other day and well it’s a story that has been told a hundred times in various different forms but even though we listen to the stories, sympathise, empathise and then say “how can you be so stupid”, we find ourselves in the same situation and then apply the same stupidness that we have just berated the next girl for.

This story spans over two continents and 8 months. There is this lady in America who is “dating” (I use the term rather loosely) a guy. In these 8 months they have gone out on an actual date twice and he has not introduced her to family or friends as his girlfriend.

The boys father died here in Ghana so him and his brother, his brother’s wife and other members his crew of friends and family came over for the funeral.

Now the girl, being the dutiful “wifey” (?), took out a loan and paid for a ticket to come to Ghana to stand by her man’s side. What did he do? He totally ignored her. Ok so during the time of the funeral, you can understand, he was busy organizing things before hand, and during the funeral there probably was no time to think about anything else but well his father I guess. But afterwards, after the funeral was over, when they had finished all the family discussions, when they had finished with all the mourning, the financials, making sure their mother was ok, and they were doing some small chilling before heading back home, what did this guy do. He ignored her.

She would go to visit him, he wouldn’t mind her, you can’t totally say it was due to the mourning, as he was up for going to the beach and to the clubs and to browsing at the mall.

The last straw was last night, he was supposed to go back next week but because of work, he changed his flight. How did the girl find out, when she called he brother’s wife to say see you next week and have a safe journey and she innocently said that they managed to get the same flight.

What’s probably going to happen. She will spend another 8 months thinking “he’s going to change”, “I’m going to make him want me”, but it aint never going to happen. If he doesn’t want to take the relationship to the next level after 8 months, chances are he will get married…to another woman. You can never change him. Stop wasting your time, because chances are, the longer you take to get that, the longer it’s going to take to find a guy who is actually will take you out on a date and treat you the way you deserve.

Of course the guy is not without blame. She is totally stroking his ego and is happy for the fact that he has someone there at his beckon call, it may hurt for a while for the guy to say “you know what, we have fun, but that’s all it’s ever going to be, but he won’t. So HELLO, the only way to break the cycle is to break out yourself.

Woman can be quite sadistic and the sad thing is, too ourselves. Ladies, it’s time to break that bubble. It’s hard being single, but it’s harder and more exhausting trying to make a relationship work that is not going anywhere.

A tout a l’heure

About efiasworld

A British Born Ghanaian navigating her way through life.
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