I am at my most unproductive when I am tired. Yesterday I had my full 8 hours sleep and I worked so hard that I even skipped lunch. I didn’t go to the pool bar, and apart from the really boring presentation which I nearly gave way to sleep in, I finished almost everything on my list of things to do for the day.

Last night, before I left the office, I made a list of things to do today. I’ve been looking at it for the past hour but I have no will in the world to do any of it. What I need is about two hours extra kip and then I should be ok, but I’m in the office now, and because of this meeting and my nose which is now blocked due to major sinus issues I didn’t get a chance to go to my hideout. The best thing I can do is try and make it to 11am, then I will put on my shades, go to the poolside bar and sleep while I pretend to listen to the old man behind the bar go on about something or somebody in the hotel. For now, I have IPod blaring into my ears in the hopes that it will keep me from sleeping while I bop my head, but the tiredness is quite overpowering today. I don’t know if I can fight it.

So I decided to go get my Kose today, maybe the walk would do me good, I had my super pencil heels on which really were not walking on any road, let alone Ghana roads, I was just praying for God to guide me to the kiosk and back without tripping and falling flat on my face. Got to the traffic light, so didn’t understand why there was two police men guiding the people across the road and none on the side where traffic was heading towards town. As we got to the middle, one driver decided to jump the lights. Pedestrian shouts out hey! like the guy would stop, reverse, apologise and wait at the traffic. If the two policemen who were standing on the quiet side of the road where the cars were driving away from traffic, the driver wouldn’t have near on knocked somebody over. Anyway, got my Kose, you know when you go to a place to often when before you reach your order is practically waiting for you.

Anyway, enough random thoughts about my morning. I want to talk about Nii. So he came over last night. I think, I am destined to be single forever. Now before I start. I tried, I really did try but it just wasn’t there. In fact it just got to a point where all I wanted was for him to get out. Can you imagine, for once I was so glad that smother was in the house.

So I went to pick him up from a location close to my house. I said we should meet at 7ish, he turned up at 8.49, he said he had to freshen up but he looked like he had just thrown on his old jeans and shirt and ran out of the house. He was a bit shorter than I had imagined in proportion to his size but I wasn’t going to let that be a hinderance. He sat down in the car. Now I am used to quite clean shaven guys, not used to guys with beards, and his beard looked well a bit unruly, it just looked like a hairy mess on his face. I try to ignore it, like I really try to look past it.

If we had met at 7 we would have gone out somewhere, but it was too late and I was very tired so I comitted the cardinal sin and invited him to my house, but we had my bodyguard at home so wasn’t expecting any funny business (I told him I lived with my mum). We got to my house and said hi to my mum, in his half yankee, half ghanaian tone (he has actually lived in the US though), and then went into my room to watch the remainder of the gossip girl episode I was watching.

So we were watching the DVD when he said he wanted to give me a back massage (fully clothed), that’s nice you say, no, because he started getting groppy and so I pulled away, then he just started getting quite annoying, he asked me to move closer, but it sounded more whining for me to sit closer to him (after the gropping incident, I moved to the other end of the room). I said I was fine and was watching t

After my episode finished, I said, sorry mate, it’s chucking out time (it was past my bedtime). He kissed me, it took me by surprised and I tactifully pulled away, the kiss, it just felt, well blah. There was no butterfly in the belly, no warm fuzzy feeling, just blah.

Now don’t get me wrong, he is a nice guy. It is the fact that he lacks any kind of charisma or charm. I like a guy who is confident, knows what he’s about. I know myself, I’m not the shy and retiring type and if you give me the chance to walk over you, I will. Furthermore, I can’t be doing all the talking, and also, please don’t think if I invite you to my house, it is an automatic invitation to see what’s under my dress. It is not happening, don’t even try. Honestly, although I seem to go for the pretty boy heartbreaker type I don’t actually have a preference. One of the nicest guys I dated was this guy who was not too tall with a belly that made him look quite a few months pregnant, but I was in love with him. Why, because of the way he carried himself. He spoke with authority, and we could just talk for hours about everything and anything.

Yes I am probably being too picky, but really, I have waited this long, I can’t know just settle down just because the guys a ‘nice guy’. It’s like watching a nice film with no substance to the storyline. Its just a nice film but forgettable.

Well, like the bitch that I am, I am most likely going to avoid his phone calls and say that I am mega busy, sorry. I have confrontational issues, I would rather just not answer the phone until he gets the message (what guys do the same thing to women all the time).

Oh and note to self: no inviting anyone to my house!!!

And I wonder why I’m still single. What a difficult bitch I am…smh