Its took nearly 4 months but it looks like me and smother are having a breakthrough. I can’t change her and she can’t change me, there’s a silent understanding on that one, certain topics are not up for discussion and the nagging has stopped well decreased anyway, I think its because she is now realising that she needs to mix with kids her own age, there are certain topics she can discuss with them that they will understand and have no real proximity to the area of discussion so will not get annoyed or embarrassed. She is also very busy with her house now, it looks like she is seeing some headway, the workers are moving and she’s in her element bossing them about so by the time I get back from work, she is too tired to boss me about.

There was a moment yesterday when she asked me once again why I hadn’t bought the coffee table, normally if I had told her I had no money, she would then ask, what do you spend your money on, blah, blah, blah, but having experienced the Ghana life and money going on “unforeseen expenses”, she left it at that. Really, I wish I had the money to by these little things, but there isn’t an Ikea or Argos here and like shoes, bags, and everything else in this country, it takes capital, which unfortunately I don’t have right now. I am praying that this new position comes with an economic boost to my monthly package, but for now, I am just about keeping my head above water.

Leading on from yesterdays conversation, DJ guy called me. He hasn’t called me for months, a few months ago I was saying to myself, if he calls I won’t pick up, or I’d act like I didn’t know who it was, finger wagging and doing the neck thing that we black ladies do. Then one day, I just stopped thinking about him. He crossed my mind a few times, as in, I wonder how he’s doing, did he travel like he said he would. But thoughts of him didn’t consume my head like he used to. So when he did call, I really didn’t know who it was. I didn’t recognise the number or the voice and was totally speechless when he said his name. But that’s me all over, its like a drug, but then when you show no love, I start to wean myself off them until I’m cured.

So more self-analysis. Yesterday, I said that any guy with similar traits to my ex gets shown the door, seems I have gone too far to the extreme the other end. Something I have to fix for 2012.
Some men are to women what kyroptine is to superman, a seemingly well put together woman can fall apart over the seems over the wrong man. I do like DJ guy but he’s not for me, we are looking for two different things, at least I figured that out now and not disillusioned myself, I must be maturing.

Well enough of the self-analysis this morning. Time to go to the office. I read somewhere, that just because you have an opinion, it doesn’t mean that you have to share it. That’s going to be my mantra for today. Earphones in, they will probably say I am “having an episode”, but you are damned if you do and your damned if you don’t. I just want to make it a relatively drama free day, so wish me luck.