A short while after I came to Ghana, I was still in touch with my ex, he had “borrowed” some money from me (he says borrow, I say stole, its a long story but it’s all semantics). I wasn’t getting anywhere so I wrote it off as a bad debt in the end. One April I got a phone call from his baby mama, she wanted to know what was going on. I didn’t know from the initial call that they had a baby until she dropped the bomb. Then I did the math, seems that conception was made at the time we were still together. She started to rant a bit until I calmly asked her if she knew that we were living together at the time they were sneaking around. She went quiet. The Mrs had now become the Mistress, biyatch. Then I told her not to worry, I never knew about her at the time I broke up with him, and that I just wanted my money back, wishing her the best of luck, but if she didn’t mind, could she not waste her london credit to call Ghana as we had no business with each other. I didn’t hear from her again, I didn’t ask him about it, he would get the wrong impression that I cared, I brushed it away with the wind, as a lady should do.

This discussion today is not about the cheating man or the woman scorned, we all know that story, it’s not even about the person who he cheated with. It’s about jumping to the wrong conclusion without getting all the facts.

Yesterday, a friend of mine forwarded me an email, from a person who under a lot of foul language felt that my friend was having an affair with this persons husband. A lot more foul language later it was obvious that the person had the wrong person. First of all, the person she was referring to was Kenyan, some kind of performer and an ugly b***. My friend is very happily married to the point of it making me throw up, I describe her as the angel on my shoulder when I am going down an obviously wrong turning, highly moral and doesn’t hold back on her opinions at that. Not from Kenya and as for being ugly, well God don’t like ugly, so I don’t have ugly friends.

The only thing I would say is wrong with her, is her love of facebook, she has a thousand friends, a third of whom she hardly knows or doesn’t know at all, but she chats with them as if they were her lifelong friends. Yes facebook a blessing and a curse, I have managed to reconnect with many lost friends over the years but have had to tighten up my privacy settings because every tom dick or harriet can find you and there are some odd balls out there.

I assume that this chick has found out that her man has been whoring around, checked his facebook page put 2+2 together and came up with 545. What happened next was just simply embarrassing, poor grammar and a lot of the f word being used. Her final words were, “I am in nja right now, but when I come back I’ll deal with you”, I really hope that she didn’t leave her husband behind. Funny thing is, when this so called affair started, my friend was here, on holiday, with her family.

Its the same old story every time, woman finds out her man is cheating, rather than have it out with the man, searches out the other party. There is no relationship between the females and wouldn’t it be a lot easier just to get the information from the guy. Maybe she did ask him and he lied and denied it, if that’s the case, if you don’t trust him, don’t be with him. Why go looking for the problem. It may sound simplistic, but if he’s a cheat, he’s always going to be a cheat, calling up every lady in the western hemisphere is not going to change that. Secondly, if you are going to attack the other party, get all your facts straight, it doesn’t bode well when you get the wrong person.

Some men are to women, what kryptonite is to superman. A seemingly well put together woman loses all senses and do and say things that no sane person would do.

I do wish this lady the best of luck though, obviously a very disturbed woman who is desperately in love. Well for me, she has definitely spelt out a plus side to being single at the moment.