The other night I was privileged enough to get the movie “think like a man”, it came out at the cinema but didn’t get a chance to see it and then asked my cousin for his downloaded copy but he gave me any excuse in the book not to give it to me. He said it was one of those girls bitching movies, so he wouldn’t give me a copy and then he used the excuse that his wife had his hard drive so he couldn’t.

Thankfully, you can always find someone in Ghana who downloads movies, and my regular supplier of movies and American TV series (such as vampire diaries and gossip girl) gave it to me yesterday.

So I watched the movie. Apart from the mushy romcom crap at the end and the 45 minute lights off part way through, I really enjoyed it. As you may have deduced, I enjoy romantic movies but more than that I like seeing black actors in more than gangster movies. You see I don’t or ever have done live in Compton, the Bronx or even Brixton (although there was a few years in Camberwell but it was more towards the West end side then deep down saff), so I do not associate with the drug life and the thug life. My friends are graduates who have gone on to be graduates, lawyers, accountants and experienced professionals. As such I like to associate myself with that whole gangster life.

If you haven’t watched the movie and you are a lot like me, go and watch it, for those of you who are married you will see how life used to be. For the singletons, there are lessons to be learnt, and it may bring back memories.

For me I think I had met just about every type of guy in this movie but the one that stood out to me was the dreamer. Apart from my most significant relationship the character of Michael Ealy reminded me of blue eyed Dean. Dean I dated briefly at the end of high school. He was “yellow” as my friend Z put it with gorgeous blue eyes which is kind of rare for a man of colour.

I cooked for Dean once, put a bit too much chilli in the chilli con carne I made for him and although he politely ate it and complemented me on my dinner I couldn’t help but feel for him as the tears rolled down his eyes. But don’t feel sorry for him too much. I liked Dean, he was an older guy, out of school, had his own place and those baby blue eyes. But Dean was a dreamer, I stayed with him for a few months but he had a lot of dreams which didn’t travel as far as his couch. It just got to the point where the things that were so attractive to me when he stepped up to me, just didn’t mean a damned thing after a while. I just got up one day and thought, the best thing that could happen is that I would be a single parent with a flat in Tottenham, at most the government would give me a house, but that’s about the only positive I could think of, and we split.

Now I’m not saying, a guy shouldn’t have a dream, but he needs to make steps to make it a reality or else that’s all it is. To paraphrase from the movie “I wanted to be a ballerina, and Janet Jackson, but the only one I have right now is to be your ex”. Ladies, the signs are there pretty early, a guy with a dream who you know is doing what he can to make it a reality is good, but I guy with a dream who doesn’t get out of bed, is just a waster. If you find that Steve Harvey book, I suggest you read it, and send one my way (its kinda hard getting Amazon to send a book to my address).

In the meantime, I am dreaming of Michael Ealy, nice eyes, “yellow” a working actor…now how do I make steps to date him…lol