Since I’ve been gone

Hi folks. It’s been a while once again. The reason I’ve been out of coverage range is due to a few things. As the year comes to a close I again got a bit depressed. I look back at what I have accomplished and while yeah I’ve done good, a house, a car, a job, it’s those things that I haven’t accomplished that has kind of got me down. So I got into a funk and as the saying goes, depression is like a comfortable mattress, easy to get into and hard to get out of. At one point I was thinking about packing up and going back to London. It felt and to some extend still feels like everyone has gone forward but I am standing still. Four years ago a lot of my friends and cousins were single. Now, most of them are married and almost all of them have at least one child. Yes, going back I would have to start from scratch but at least I would have what was comfortable to me for 31 years. My family, my friends, public transport etc.. but then it would be like I was going back again, so for a while I was stuck in limbo.
The reason I have felt this way is because, as the year closes, there is one thing that I haven’t been able to achieve; yep I still haven’t found love. I thought I did for a brief second but it just didn’t. It was the same old thing, guy meets girl, guy thinks that he knows a girl to get his leg over but guy doesn’t think he knows the girl well enough to have a relationship. This one was a Civil Engineer. He sounded good on paper, cute but not dashingly handsome. I think he spent a lot of time drawing but not much on his English speaking skills as after a series of misunderstandings we parted ways. The last straw was when he chose not to call me for like a week. Now if a guy goes from calling three or four times a day to silence for the whole week, guys, a girl is going to ask why. I finally did get through to him and the conversation ended with him thinking I wanted him to be his next of king (I know it’s kin that’s how he spelt it) and apparently I scarred (I think he meant scared) away.
My friend told me that there is no such thing as a bad experience but rather a lessoned learnt. So, here’s what I learnt. The first thing is that if a girl is over the age of 35 and still single she has probably had very bad luck with men, but if a guy is over the age of 35 and still single it’s probably because he’s just not serious.
The second thing is, always find a guy who is on your attractiveness level. If you go for someone less attractive he’s going to be under the false impression that he is king of the world because he has got you rather than be grateful that someone of your calibre even gave you a passing glance.
Lastly, seems that all men have watched that bloody Steve Harvey movie about thinking like a man and so will give you all that bullshit about getting to know you is their short term goal and how you are the only first in their life so don’t fall for it.
What I learnt about myself is that I make a great friend but a lousy girlfriend. I fall for the crap because I so want to believe it to be true when I know deep down it’s just a line, so the disappointment is that much greater when my prince turns out to be a frog and a swampy frog at that. So although I’m on the wrong side of 30 and the biological clock may be ticking, I’m taking time out to find a friend and be a friend and forget about seeking out the one. If one comes along then fine, if not, I will follow my doctor’s advice and go the artificial insemination route.
I have started the new job. It is too early to tell whether I am comfortable with the decision I have made but I have made that leap anyway. There are a lot of Indians working in the office, Indian people who speak to Ghanaians like they are second class citizens which is making me quite mad as they couldn’t get away with half the things they say if they were in England and I worked with a lot of them in England. My boss for example has no shame in saying that certain things are ‘bullshit’ in the middle of a meeting or shouting at someone like they are his 5 year old daughter. I have spent the last couple of weeks going round the country getting to know the business so have pretty much kept out of it but next month I can really let you know how it is going.
The people I have come to contact with are nice though and as long as I stay focused on why I accepted the position and what I am there to do I think I should be alright.
My saving grace this month has been my friend Nessa. We have been friends since we were kids. When I was a young girl in East London there weren’t many Ghanaians so we all kind of new each other. For some reason all our mums (and some of our dad’s) were nurses also, so we all kind of grew up in a kind of communal way. Nessa is an only child and when we first met I thought she was this irritating little girl who talked to much, that was for the first day. The second day, we just became the best of friends, she talked way too much but she also made me laugh and I love that I have seen her grown into the beautiful person she is. Nessa, like the rest of my friends will listen to me without judgement, we analyse it and find a solution. After a few cocktails at La Palm on Christmas Eve she took me out of my slump. We concluded that I need to get out more (although yet to decide where I can go alone and not look like I am touting for business) and that I need to set up a little business of my own. I think that I am heading towards Supply Chain Consultancy. This new job is giving me the perfect opportunity and what I achieve with this I can use to set something of my own. I will let you know how that goes.
On Christmas Eve we also went to Starbites in East Legon. It is the normal overpriced food joint but the food is pretty decent and they have outside seating. On Monday we had the added pleasure of live music. I say that but it was a guy a girl a laptop and a karaoke screen. They had not rehearsed their set, I guess this was because the words were on the screen, but the least they could have done was read the flipping words. The rendition of I would survive was sung like nothing I have heard before, lady was just singing random words hoping that the audience didn’t know them either. The guy also tried to harmonize alongside said lady but didn’t know exactly when to drop his voice. As a duet they were entertaining but unfortunately more amusing than anything. However, it was a good night out and put a smile on my face.
On Christmas day, I had lunch with my girlfriend Lew, the French lady and her daughter. I also ended up with a stray. A young Nigerian man who I work with who was home alone. What can I say, I am my father’s daughter, couldn’t see someone alone on the holidays. On the menu was smoked salmon on toast followed by Roast Lamb and Roasted Potatoes with Pasta Salad and for desert crepes and chocolate ice cream. So you could say an assortment of French and English grub, this washed down with a bottle of Pino and a bottle of Merlot made for a very Merry Christmas.
So that’s me y’all, that’s where I have been, but I couldn’t end this year without saying hope you had a wonderful Christmas and much love for the New Year.
Thank you all so much for all your support and hope you continue to enjoy…
Until the next time x

About efiasworld

A British Born Ghanaian navigating her way through life.
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