Pronounced wu yeah pear-pear, it means you are chistle, hard fisted, stingy, you have the cash but you don’t want to spend it.

I’m about to re-visit the money tree myth.

As we move onto February I can say about 20 people have stepped up to me and brazenly asked me for money. As already mentioned, the security guards at my office, my estate, then there are the policemen looking to pay off their christmas debts, to add to it, a guy who directed me (by force) out of the car park and some random who I said hello to one merry night.

There’s this guy I know, a friend of a friend of a friend. If you go out with him, you will want for nothing. “Have a drink, it’s on me”. He will tell you. He will order a bottle of whisky on top and will even give you a packet of fags if you smoke. He doesn’t do cheap either. You will find him at Bella Roma, Tantra or the Lexington (formerly Champs bar). High end bars with West End prices. If you visit him today he has a 55″ TV, satellite and an i Phone 5 on charge.

However if you stay until the end of the night you will notice that the drinks that he has offered you are paid through by mouth. When the bill comes and everyone is looking for their small change, he is no where to be found.

I on the other hand live within my means yet have a bank debt, a car who when I switch on my A-C in my car the battery conks out and when the lights go out, well I just have to live with it. But I’m seen as a responsible girl with lots of cash to burn. Sorry, but if I had that money I would also have the 55″ TV and be clubbing on a Friday night. If I have a bit of change it is because I am saving up for a trip to London (bloody expensive, if you know where I could get a cheap flight let me know). I also need a bit for a rainy day, and I literally have enough for the day, if it rains for more than a day then I’m f@*(!’d.

I recall a conversation I had with an uncle. He said people would always hit him up for a loan. “I’m not a bank” he said, “and your money doesn’t last you, but I perform magic that it lasts me with a wife and 5 children”. My dad always used the excuse that he has to pay school fees (although we had free schooling and took a loan to get through university), he used that excuse until he went on retirement. Now he’s on retirement so he has the excuse that he is a pensioner.

I may not have kids. Call me p3p3 but my money is accounted for. After a month of working over 12 hour days I didn’t see you there working alongside me, in fact you were chilling with a pint of beer. So sorry if I cannot help you after you’ve squandered your money o fags, booze and girls but I have bills to pay and once every quarter I would actually like to go out for a nice meal and a glass of wine. If I had the money to loan, I would have painted my house or gone on a nice holiday or even got a generator and a big arse TV. Call me p3p3 when you wake up at dawn to get up and graft with me instead of sleeping until the afternoon and by noon you are drinking a cocktail. Yes I live alone but I don’t pay half the bills because I’m a single person, and if I look like I have cash, its because I try to live within my means.

When I have to give you’ll be the first to know, but until then I don’t need to hear your sob story, I have enough of my own.

Just needed to get that off my chest. Now off to bed, I have an early start in the morning. Unfortunately I’ve not been out for a while (ironically its because I have no cash), but hoping to try somewhere new come pay day (will keep you posted!)

No rest for the wicked..

Goodnight y’all