If you are thinking of coming over to start a fresh life in Ghana, now is probably not the time. Unless you are on pension, or you are starting a business where your income does not rely on a fully local currency income, you should just come here for your usual annual leave and get the heck on out. I am even wondering myself if my time is up, and maybe I have done what I came to do. A family friend of mine said to me on my last visit to London, “you’ve done well, now come home”. I am on a 50/50 at the moment.

Think of the credit crunch, magnified by 10. There are signs in front of many petrol stations this morning which say NO SUPER. I predicted this a couple of weeks ago, the minute I heard that they were not going to increase fuel for another fortnight, I got myself a reserve large gallon, so I would not fall short. I suspect that those that have fuel are hoarding so that when the price goes up, they get a larger profit.

The people took to the streets in protest over this issue, it has got so bad that the middle classes just said, something has to be done. I think it is a good thing that the good people are finally speaking out, but unfortunately it is like having a conversation with a lunatic, they are going to just sell you something rather incoherent. This is a government who have taken out a loan of something like $10m to buy sanitary pads. Well not just sanitary pads, but they claim that it will be used as a scholarship for underprivileged kids for school fees and provisions (including sanitary pads for the girls).

Now I am not so learned, but here’s an idea. Some teachers have not been paid for months, children in urban as well as rural schools are being taught under trees. Why not use the money to renovate the existing schools, pay the teachers, and if you have to, send them abroad on training to build up their knowledge and confidence. Install the latest technologies so that the youth of today can compete on the world stage. If you really are that concerned about sanitary pads, why not go to the companies directly and ask for them to sponsor this cause, I am sure Always being the world’s top producers could help you out.

It has been a long time since I have talked politics, but when in a year 400 dollars has shot up from 800 to almost 1600GHS, it is something to worry about especially when sanitary pads seems to be the most important factor on the agenda at the moment. Even those whose votes were bought for 50GHS at the last election are feeling the pinch because even the price of corn has shot up from 40p to 70p in just a matter of weeks.

The only people that probably seem to be doing alright in this economy are the pastors. There is a very large church on the Spintex Road, Accra called Action Chapel. The congregation hoard in their numbers to listen to the word, it doesn’t matter that for the rest of the week, they will be bad minded and think negatively of others, because they gave generously to the collection and return they will receive many blessings. Even my catholic church is doing very well during collection. We have the normal collection, then there is a collection for some project or another, also at the beginning of the month, they call the congregation up by the day they were born (e.g. Kwame and Ama for Saturday, etc…).

Which leads me to an incident the other day, I was walking to my car when an “Apostle” walked up to me, and told me that God asked him to speak to me. He asked me if I was married, I said no, and then he said “hmmm” that’s why. I asked him how do I know he is legitimate and he told me of all the churches he had and asked me if I knew some woman. He then gave me his number, and asked me to call him. When I got home, I actually forgot all about him, but then he crossed my mind so thought why not, let’s see what he has to say.

So he started off by reading me a bible passage, and then he got down to business. He seemed rather more interested in my love life than any other part of my life. Right now, I have 99 problems but a man aint one, but he said God wanted him to speak so I let him speak.
He then asked me if I had been married before, I said no. Then he paused. Then he asked if I had a boyfriend, I said no. Then he asked if I had a boyfriend, well of course I have, he then says “yes”, and he dumped you. Yes, that is it, then he proceeded to tell me about a river which a family member has put a pot full of blood somewhere in that river, so I will never get married, so he will pray over it. Then he prayed.

Then the conversation just started getting eerie, he asked if I was working, I said no, and in fact I said, I am having trouble getting the right job for my capabilities. He didn’t want to know, he then asked me if I had, had sex with the guy. I paused, then he told me that the boy only had sex with me because he wanted a child, which would I could have believed had the boy not got 2 (possibly 3) kids already.

Then the conversation got really uncomfortable, he started asking me if I had ever committed an abortion or masturbated, that’s when I am like, should you be asking these questions, then he said “you don’t know me too well to open up”, and invited me to his prayer meeting.
I said goodbye, and blocked his number from my phone, this pastor was looking for 2 things, my money and what he could find in between my legs.

These are the kind of men that will tell you that the lord has asked him to pray for you, you will pray, you will give him money for his troubles, and when there is nothing left in your pocket, the lord will ask him to sleep with you. With the economy the way it is, you will find that these false prophets will come out of the woodwork even more than usual.

Lesson of the day: Beware of false prophets, and ministers begging loans for sanitary pads