It’s been one of those days when I have little much to do, well when I say that, I do, but with the time it actually takes to do it, I have to space it out so the boss thinks that I find the work as complicated as the rest of the individuals who share the same title. So I thought I would share a moment of my time with you.

While at the canteen I was approached by a gentleman selling a magazine. Firstly, I hate being sold something while I am eating, it’s just not good manners. If you try and sell me something while I am trying to enjoy my meal, you have already got off to a bad start. He came up to me and asked me if I knew Uncle Ebo Whyte, I said I know of him but I don’t know him. So he turned to page 2 of the magazine to show me his picture as if that would make a difference to his sales pitch.

I continued eating when he said that he thinks I should buy the magazine, I don’t know what was in it or what he was getting out of it (apart from my 5 cedis) and I said no thank you. Well you would think that this man would go, but no, he says it is only 5 cedis and goes on and on about the fact that it would be nothing to me. Well that’s when I got angry, these days I have turned into my dad when anyone asks for money, I go from very cordial to a grumpy old man as soon as I hear a sentence which asks for money. I mean it could be 50p and I can go ballistic especially when it is asked by a total stranger.

So I tell this dude that it wasn’t in my budget but I will get back to him, and he tells me that I should put it down in my miscellaneous. I don’t even have a miscellaneous, I have outgoings and trying and mummy, after I have paid the bills and fuelled the car, I look for my mum to help me out with the odd expense here and there, so under miscellaneous on my balance sheet you will see every month it is negative.

So I tell him that he doesn’t know my expenses, I have responsibilities. He asks if I have children, I said no disrespect but it wasn’t any of his business. He then says that in Ghana responsibilities means children, which is quite funny that he should say that because it made me think, apart from children Ghanaians are just not responsible people are they?

But I digress….the gentleman felt that if he went on and on about the same thing, I would relent and buy the magazine to shut him up. Nice tactic, but you are messing with the wrong biyach…So I told him very sternly but still pleasantly that the more he goes on, the less attracted I was in buying what he was selling. That is when he stepped back and tried a different approach. This time he thought he would try having a conversation; unfortunately he thought I was the Managing Directors Personal Assistant. That was a real “ouch” moment because I am like do I look like a secretary, sorry you have got the wrong person. With that he gave up and told me to have a nice day and I did to.

He really needs to change his sales strategy, especially if he is going to bother someone while they are eating.
If he is reading, I suggest that he take the strategy of a Korean DVD seller on East Street in Camerwell. Basically she just pops out of know where and squeals “DVD”. It’s short and it’s quick and you know straight away whether the person is going to buy something or not. A 15 minute sales pitch to a stressed out employee while she is trying to eat lunch is just not going to cut it.