I really need to get a hobby, or a job or both. I am working on them though but I have a procrastination condition so get easily distracted.

My current distraction is (another) reality TV programme called 90 day fiancé showing the relationships between American citizens and their long distance partners. This programme particularly caught my attention because of a white American lady (I use this term very loosely) and her Nigerian boyfriend.

The lady is in her 50s and the guy is in his 30s and from their interactions it’s fairly obvious that this man’s intention is to get to America and then find a way to escape her clutches.

The lady smokes about 100 cigarettes a day, she is very insulting, she has made the guy stop working and he’s living as a “kept man”. She hates his friends, she made him sleep in his car one night after an argument and she has even shoved a cake in his face.

The lady has also insulted his friends and is very possessive over the guy to the point that I don’t think that he see’s them anymore. The lady also has children and grandchildren, the guy has none and it is obvious that he would love to carry on his legacy. Grandma only has one egg left in her uterus (if that) and it’s probably dead, if this is really love (which I doubt), he hasn’t got a hope with this one.

Now I know I am coming from a place of privilege but really, is your dignity worth so little that you would have someone treat you so low in order to gain a green card? If I had the opportunity to move to America, it would be a good experience to have (I like to travel) but no way will I leave one hardship for another. I do have to understand though that I have a roof over my head and I get to eat three square meals a day but I don’t believe I could honestly sell my soul to the devil to get that chance.

To me, it’s just like swapping one slavery (from where our ancestors had no choice) to a self-imposed slavery. Sadly it is a case of travel and see. When he does eventually arrive in the US, he will find that it is far from milk and honey. It is a cold place, literally and figuratively. In Africa, you can at least survive on very little, here in the West, it can be a hard and lonely place especially if you don’t have a decent job. There are people here that provide food for their kids from a food bank because after paying bills and accommodation they have literally nothing much left.

Poverty is a horrible situation to go to, however there are people that have made it out and become very successful, I don’t think you should let your current circumstance determine your future. Also if you are desperate to go to somewhere like the US, I believe the US diversity lottery is free to apply for. Ok, it’s a long shot but I know people who have managed to win a visa.