the case of the emotional cripple and the married man

I’m a good girl really, a good girl that sometimes gets herself into bad situations. I don’t know why. I come from a good girl. I dress decent. Not overtly sexy although the curves do pop out in the right place, what can I say, clothes are made with skinny blondes in mind and the black girl comes with curves. So why oh why yet again do I get the married guys or the guys that are just emotionally not anywhere to be found.

First let me tell you about the guy from my office. I will call him office guy. My married guydar was totally off when I met him. I met him when I was in my getting work to early mode. School prefect would be in the office about 5-10 minutes before me or after me, depending on her mood. They used to chat, he would always greet me with a Bonjour, so I would say it back. I kept telling school prefect that this guy thinks I’m one of the francophone’s. This was confirmed when I went to speak to a colleague in the same office as him and he always calls me by my local name, he was shocked to learn that I was a Ghanaian. He started flirting, I flirted back, a nice guy, not to outspoken but a little bit of the swagger I thought he was that nice guy that I could actually go somewhere with. Today he asks me if I would like to go out for a drink. That’s when the Lord spoke to me and ask him more questions before I dared walk out of the office carpark with him. I asked how old he was, he says 37. Has to be married I thought to myself, a part of me wanted to stay in ignorant bliss but where would that get me. So I asked. Yep, he responds (this was all on IM by the way).

Married, with two boys, 3 years old and 5 months. His last born was not even part way through the year and this boy out catching girls. I declined. I hope that this doesn’t change anything he says. My Lord fool, it changes everything and if it doesn’t here’s one cedi, go and buy yourself a clue.

Guy number two, the emotional devoid. So I asked a family friend to set me up with a guy. Why, because I meet a guy he thinks I have no family, he treats me like shit. At least if I meet a guy who knows my family they know not to mess around, because they know him and his family and will deal with him accordingly. He gets me one in London, lawyer guy, I think I mentioned him before. We have been chatting on facebook quite a bit, but he keeps calling me sis. A guy who calls a girl sis, looks at her in a sisterly way, so I lost interest. The days when I would see it as a challenge have long gone.

He writes to me today to tell me that he is coming to Ghana next month and what plans do I have for him. I was like oooookay, a bit out of the blue but oh well, then he asked me when the wedding was on. I’m like hello, where’s the groom, then I just gave him the footnotes on my life, not run away this girl has too many issues but said I was in a relationship, it didn’t work out, I’m now single and it has been that way for a while, but if you find the groom, do give him my number as I think I may have lost his. We start chatting, don’t know what triggered it off but then he went into one. He got married at 27 because he felt the pressure to do so, it didn’t work out, he got married again, didn’t work out, some more disasterous relationships, he just wants a lady friend, which is why he started chatting to one of my facebook friends (ok). It was quite a lengthy email, the end tail was he just wants a friend, nothing sexual, he has it all but that. Just my luck, I have the scarred for life guy. It’s so sad it’s quite humourous. Only in efiasworld!

On the plus side, I have been hard at work today. Since morning, I have been listening to my Ipod and working like superwoman. Finished all my tasks for the day, the only time I got up was to grab a drink and lunchtime. I am actually quite proud of myself. I have done the full 8 hours and now I am off home. I didn’t even get annoyed when my sarcastic boss gave me one very cheeky answer when he said ‘if you are booking a meeting with me, use this amazing tool, it is called outlook calender’, the idiot however had his outlook set that you cannot look at his calender. I told him I don’t have access to it, he looked at me strangly, his minions looked at me strangely, I gave him a screenshot of me being denied access. Sometimes you can speak volumes by saying very little.

Tonight, when I get, I am going to have a glass of wine, watch something on the laptop and have an early night. I feel wiped out.

About efiasworld

A British Born Ghanaian navigating her way through life.
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